There is no shame in having clutter

Mary had a lot of shame about her basement. Like many of my clients, she is both highly intelligent and highly creative. If she can think it, she can make it. But because life gut-punched her in recent years with the death of both her parents in a short time period, she could barely lift her head off her pillow, let alone deal with day to day life. She worked hard in counseling and was just now able to tackle the mess that depression had left in its wake. That’s when she called me. After we had been working for a few sessions, she said, “You know, I wasn’t always like this.”  “I know.” I said, “But you’ve been through a lot. This isn’t unusual. In fact, it’s so normal they even have a name for it - Situational Clutter. When you’ve been through a hard situation, things can fall apart. But it’s ok. We’re putting it back together. It will be ok.”

After a few minutes, she looked around her basement and said, “You know what? I feel sorry for the person who let her basement get like this.”

I was gobsmacked. What a profound statement. She could see herself as a completely different person now than the one who was struggling so with the death of her parents. She was not ashamed, but felt pity for her old self and all that she went through. It was incredibly insightful.

A lot of my clients tell me, “Thank you for not shaming me.” This breaks my heart. They’ve been shaming themselves for so long they were sure they deserved it and were appreciative when it didn’t happen as we worked together.

Clutter may only be an indication that you have yet to discover your organizing style. I submit that everyone is organized in their own way. They just don't have the tools (yet!) that match their natrual bent of organizing. If you want to talk through your organizing style, reach out. I'd be happy to help. And there will be no shame!

Laura ~ your organizing girlfriend